1. This creepy pregnant baby

Yo dawg, we heard you like babies...
2. Hitler

3. The "Puberty Doll"
Allows kids to witness the transformation into puberty. Might be education, but definitely not for toddlers.

4. This baby with an obscene amount of pubic hair

5. This pole dancing toddler

Teaching kids about realistic career choices.
7. "The Flash"

8. This unhealthily skinny pregnant teen

Someone has to teach kids what happens after blowing bubbles and vibrating broomsticks.
9. The "Cuddle Monkey"

This is wildly inappropriate.
10. The "Oreo Barbie"

Teach your son to feel before they buy.
11. The Dora Dildo

Dora the "explorer" has taken on new meaning
12. Penis Gummies

13.This evil narwhal that impales adorable animals

Penguins and seals deserve it, but what exactly did the koala do?
14. The "Water Wiennie"

Welcome to your nightmares.
15. Triple X-Men

16. This robot with a huge pocket rocket

17. Winnie the Pooh with a raging hard on

18. The "Lego Concentration Camp"

Fortunately this one was merely an artwork but the fact that we thought it could have been real is unsettling.
And now for some genuinely scary toys.
19. This face that looks like it's about to eat your soul

We don’t want to know how you get those coins back.
20. This mouse / child / creature / thing

Furbies have nothing on this.
21. This murderous chimp

Jolly? We prefer the term pants-wettingly terrifying.
22. Mr. Buttons

All it wants is to love, and if it can’t get that then your still-beating heart will have to suffice.
23. Whatever the hell this is

The person who took this picture was never seen again.
24. The Zombie Ewok Baby

Is... is that a bone...?
25. Finally, E.T.'s probing finger

We think it’s safe to say that childhood is best left where it is; in the past. Thanks a lot, Internet. We didn’t need to sleep tonight anyway.